While visiting Paris in the winter I would have to say that my husband and I did a nice job of blending. When we greeted merchants I would always said Bonjour. They always replied in french. Was my accent that good?
However, I do know that I consistently did one thing that gave me away. I would smile if I made eye contact with strangers on the metro. I did not know this, but it is bad to smile at someone. Is there an explanation for this? And how bad is it? I smile at people all the time in the states. If I am going to return should practice the scowl? Also, is this the custom all over France or is a big city thing? When traveling with my 12 yr old son, should I advise him to frown at all costs.
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it is true that making eye contact and smiling at strangers is just not done here. I don%26#39;t know where it comes from but I do know that I learned this when I was a young college student, out on the metro alone for the first time and men would bother me or follow me home as if I had offered an invitation of some sort.
So if you aren%26#39;t a naive little college girl, I%26#39;d say that it is not so much bad, as not Parisian, and at the very worst people will think you are somewhat daft, but most will realize that you are an American.
My impression is that this is much more of a big city hting, but then I have only ever lived in a big city.
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Smiling at a stranger is not bad, it%26#39;s just that in the big cities it can be considered as an invitation to get to know each other better.. So to answer your question, it%26#39;s more a big city thing, and mainly a paris thing in fact.
No needs to frown, tho : )
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The %26quot;no smile and no eye contact%26quot; thing may just be a custom in any big city. Have you been on the NY subway lately? Nobody makes eye contact there. My sister tried once and almost got beat up...
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thanks for the replies. I have not travelled the U.S. I have only been to San Francisco and Los Angeles. I have no trouble there in fact I think people appreciate a smile since they don%26#39;t see a friendly face very often.
The remark that a smile may invoke an unintended invitation makes a lot of sense.
I will just keep smiling.
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I think it%26#39;s just a big city thing: I moved to NYC from Upstate NY 18 years ago. One thing you learn rather quickly here is that if you look at someone too long with or without a smile you%26#39;re either asking for a fight or to be hit on! When I went to Paris, people didn%26#39;t seem as inclined toward belligerence as here in NY, but the men did seem to take it as a flirtatious invitation.
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Although, its true that they don%26#39;t smile much. They do stare, especially the women. I found this to be really strange at first, until someone explained that they are curious about your attire or your hair, and it not uncommon for them to stare at one another or you for that matter.
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I am extremely insecure, and suffer slightly from body dysmorphic disorder, where you always feel ugly, lol. The staring part will be tough on me, but I am determined not to let it bother me.
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Great!
I%26#39;m going to look like the Pied Piper with strange men following me!!
I smile so much at people they are bound to think I am a lunatic!
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I read in the Fodor%26#39;s paris book if you do smile (if your a woman) and you smile at a male you%26#39;ll get a Pepe Le peux response. Which I thought was hilarious!!!!! So if you want attention ladies. Smile away.
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Gee, if it were that easy to lure French men, I%26#39;d be ear-to-ear smiling from the moment my plane touched ground!!
Seriously though, Parisians don%26#39;t smile much at each other for no reason and often people will take it as an expression of interest. Don%26#39;t let the staring get to you. I%26#39;ve never found it to be offensive. Keep in mind that French people seem to have a natural aversion to anything ugly, so they won%26#39;t be staring at you if they think you%26#39;re ugly:) Now, if nobody stares at you the entire time, you might be in trouble....! :)
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